Thursday, October 25, 2012

Our Baby

I am going to share something that isn't really that easy.  But I have come to learn for me, it is better to talk about it then hold it in. To get it out and do my best to move on.

Last week I found out that I was pregnant. Exactly 2 years and 3 months since our wedding date. Something else I don't normally share, I have never taken any form of birth control or have never tried not to get pregnant. I have trusted God to give me a child when His time is best. I told my doctor a year ago I had gone over a year without conceiving. She said point blank I was infertile. A kick in the gut. I took many tests and everything came out fine. We were referred to infertility, but I guess the whole information packet asking several questions about how far we were willing to go to have a baby scared us off. So needless to say it has been a very long couple of years of thinking I was pregnant so many times, only for it to end in tears.

This time it was for real, a blood test confirmed. I am not sure I breathed for a while I was so excited. Hence the last minute trip to Maine to share our joy with his family.  The excitement, the plans, the emotions. . .

I started spotting on Tuesday. I prayed and prayed, pleaded and sobbed for God not to take away my baby. Tuesday night I had a miscarriage. I should have been better prepared but who can be I guess. It was a long night. Excruciating pain, physical and emotional.

We both took work off Wednesday. Kurt and I spent the day together. We went for a drive, we both held each other, we both cried, we thanked God for each other and prayed for another chance to have a baby.

My body is still processing this, but I hope it will be over soon. Nothing like a constant reminder. My hormones are all crazy of course, very high to very low over night. I have made it so far today without any tears, 3 hours left of work.

Although it was a very short time, I miss my baby.  But I trust God and hold onto His promises.

Coralie Rose


  1. Coralie, I was so sad to hear this news. I've been praying for you and Kurt, and I'm sorry you have to go through this.
    I believe He already is, but remember, God will carry you through this. Losing a baby is such a hard and confusing thing, but God is in control and now your sweet baby is with Him! Take comfort in that and in knowing God will not give you more than you can handle. I love you so much and am praying for you <3

  2. I'm praying for you, darling. I miss you dearly. Hang on to God. He's hanging on to you! <3

    Alyssa <3